Posted by JuJuan Buford, Entrepreneur & Writer @JSBUFORD
I used to be proud of that characterization of my relationships with others.
I more than empathize with the I don't give a fuck attitude, I understand it. When you grow up in an environment where people spend more time tearing you down than building you up, you have two choices...
- You can fold, allowing mean words stick to your thoughts and self concept of yourself.
- Or learn to think for yourself, believe in yourself, feel for your self, and shut out the thoughts, inclinations and feelings of others.
I executed. I led. I made positive, lasting impacts in the lives of others. People who I allowed to get close to me, came to respect and on occasion even admire what I stood for. People who knew me, know I'll ride an die harder for those around me, and go further to see them succeed than themselves.
On the other hand, I could be cold, calculating, and move irrespective of others, their needs, wants, or feelings. I could systemically remove a person from my space, and execute a practiced ambivalence that felt justified, and stunningly frigid.
And most of the time, that armor served me well, if simply checking off accomplishments and deeds are the extent you believe you can achieve.
But there is more to life than that. At the end of the day, while those check marks may provide you moments of temporary satisfaction, they won't keep you warm at night. They can't laugh out loud at your shortcomings with you. They don't soothe you much after inevitable falls. They don't answer the phone with warmth or much understanding. They are just still pictures, suspended in time.
Yes, your worst memories will always involve people.
But so will your best memories too. And good memories, good relationships, memorable moments with good people are truly the stuff that a good, well lived life is truly made of. If you believe you deserve better, and truly want to achieve more, others will be needed, and they must desire those things for you too. Learn to embrace the good.
JuJuan Buford is a Detroit native, a successful entrepreneur, activist, writer, and public speaker. Buford is dedicated to helping families, entrepreneurs, and business owners establish thriving enterprises, achieve financial independence, and build lives of satisfaction.
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