By J.S. Buford
It is.
So many of us are afraid. Afraid, to paraphrase the great President Nelson Mandela, to unabashedly embrace our intellect, brilliance, and talents. The inner divinity that exists within all of us is frightening to many of us.
To do so requires courage. It requires a willingness to peruse the inner recesses of our minds and hearts, rather than look to others for acceptance, or hide behind a mask pretending to be something we are not. Indeed, it is much easier for some to simply rationalize misdeeds, nihilistic behaviors, low esteem, self doubt, and even hate under the guise of a creed of this is the way things are, this is me, and how I’m going to be.
Yet, inside, individuals who subscribe to such credos, really live lives of spiritual turmoil, engulfed by perpetual unhappiness broken by respites of contentment. Some simmer quietly, feigning gregariousness. Others lash out, their pain, low self-esteem, and unhappiness justifying their endeavors to share their misery.
We all know them. They are never satiated. Resist change at all costs. Their relationships are transient, alarmed by the fear of being exposed, challenged, forced to face themselves by those closest to them. More often then not, they tend to focus on why success isn’t possible.
Their reason for doing anything, becomes their excuse not to.
They deny themselves and if allowed to, the prosperity and spiritual edification of others. Opportunities, whether they present themselves in the form of a phenomenal business venture, a hand up whether it is from a loved one or a complete stranger, an opening for reconciliation, inner growth; are systemically and often with great temerity rejected.
It’s too difficult. I know it makes sense, but I need to think about it (procrastinate), I don’t want to learn about it, it (change) scares me. I could never do that. That’s not realistic for me. I know you offered assistance, but I did it my way, and I failed. I know I’m not right, but hey, take it or leave it. And by the way, you shouldn’t pursue it either. Matter of fact; allow me to offer my own commentary, while I fail to support your efforts…spiritually, monetarily, or otherwise.
And my personal favorite…God will handle it. I’ll leave it in God’s hands.
As if God would prefer that his sons and daughters waste their talents and gifts, as opposed to make them manifest. Failure, sadness, self-hate, and jealousy are as much maladies of the spirit as they are of the mind.
No need to be quixotic though. Life can be a grind, and often times unforgiving. For those of us who were not born into plenty, we know better than most. Hard work, our own or the efforts and the benevolence of others, is necessary, biblical, a reality of life. However, incessant unhappiness and struggle is not. Acceptance of the status quo as static is not. It is a choice.
Everyone deserves happiness, prosperity, and dignity. And no, for the supermajority of us it will not be delivered to our doorstep by the tooth fairy, or if surrounded by haters and jealous spirits, relinquished willingly. The most successful among us have experienced failure more intimately than the supermajority of us ever will. However, like an athlete at the top of their game, the achievers, the dreamers, the best among us simply forget the last bad play as soon as it ends, focusing intently upon the opportunity before them to achieve excellence again.
Michael Jordan missed over 50% of his jump shots over the course of his career, but we all remember the image of him stuntin all over Byron Russell as he catapulted the Bulls over the Utah Jazz in the 1998 Finals.
Do you recall Jordan before he knew what a jump shot was? Do you recall him being cut from his high school basketball team? Can you imagine Jordan not taking that shot? Giving into thoughts of being too old; refusing to refine his J; never pursuing basketball; unwilling to look himself in the mirror and acknowledge, I must change, improve, endure, work, and fulfill my destiny of the most celebrated basketball player (and perhaps athlete) of our era?
And yeah, Jordan pushed off, but did you notice how Russell hand checked him like he was trying to deprive him of his shorts? Come on! But I digress.
The pursuit of happiness is not a journey for the weary. And it starts with the simple realization that you are deserved. Not perfect. But deserved. And sometimes you have to go through it. It’s dark before dawn. Abundant fields require calloused hands. Leadership first requires a willingness to follow, a desire to empower, being a good listener, and a willingness to defer. Integrity is not bought, but rather forged.
Happiness is rooted in an internal tilling, cultivation, and harvesting that too few of us are willing to undergo. But it is required. The exterior is simply window dressing. It is the music that reverberates throughout our souls deep into our bones, eventually finding expression in our religion: the way we live our lives aside from time spent in church on Sunday.
Once again, this is not meant to deride, or minimize the tremendous obstacles many of us are forced to hurdle daily. However, we all have a choice concerning every hour, minute, and second we are blessed with on this earth. We can choose to go hard, give our all, and give ourselves a winning chance. Or remain bound to the limitations of bruised psyches and malignant agendas. It’s a heavy responsibility, not to be absolved in religious dogma or fear.
Refusing to make manifest our destiny as beautiful people deserved of plenty and dignity is a choice. And so is the pursuit of happiness.